Its a . . .

"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

. . . .

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting"

Since learning that we were pregnant, I have meditated daily on Psalm 139. The verses above are particularly special to me. It is a little ironic to me that those last verses are part of this psalm. I read it and feel like it is part of a letter reading, 'Dear Nicole. . . ' I need both of these reminders. Daily. Ok . . . hourly. Lately . . . every few minutes.

And now the news you have all been waiting for. This week we learned that we are going to have a baby GIRL. What a blessing to raise a daughter! We are so delighted. We dream about the sweet little girl within me. We enjoy talking and singing and reading to her. Her Dad beams with pride when he sees her push my belly out with her still tiny limbs. She already makes us laugh and her Mama cry (pregnancy hormones!).

Thank you God.

Not to take away from such wonderful news, we do have a prayer request. Along with revealing a healthy, active baby Girl, the ultrasound also indicated a condition called placenta previa. In a nutshell this carries some risks and possible complications with an ultimate outcome of a c-section at 37 weeks. To say the news 'blindsided' us would be an understatement. We had planned on using a birthing center in Austin. We were so excited about this option as it seemed to be the middle road between a hospital birth and a home birth that we were hoping for (and that didn't exist in Memphis). However, should the condition remain unchanged, that will no longer be an option. It might seem odd to say that there is a small element of 'grief' as we adjust to preparing for a birth that might be quite different from what we had anticipated and hoped for. Not to mention some anxiety and fear. There are much greater things to grieve and fear, so forgive the overall insignificance of this situation. I hesitate to share those feelings but hey, its my blog!!! :) And it is an honest feeling. I pray for a greater focus on the healthy baby girl we have! Oh, and forgive me, but I am declining any and all labor and delivery stories right now! Its just not a good time!!! I'll let you know when you can bring those on!

The situation will be reassessed at another ultrasound at 28 weeks (about 2 months from now). In the meantime I have to limit physical activity. No running, no excessive work outs, no lifting and so on. It is rather strange to shift from a smooth pregnancy to having to be so careful.

I guess the lessons of parenthood begin early. We're learning that its not about us and what WE want. And that WE are not in control. I've also learned that you do in fact let go of some of your 'dignity' as you have kids. Here I am on the world wide web sharing news of my placenta and cervix. Apparantely not much is sacred!

We do ask that you will join us in praying that the condition will naturally correct itself. Pray that in 7-8 weeks, the placenta will move upward and allow for a normal delivery. And in the meantime please pray that my heart will be filled with peace and not worry. And join us in prayers of thanksgiving for the daughter God has given us.